it's too hot outside to masturbate.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
