i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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