I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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