First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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