STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
