Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
