I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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