I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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