if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You are a genius and a whore.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
