she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
