I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize