You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
