I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize