Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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