My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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