sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
