i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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