Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
