:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
