When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
