This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
