I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize