so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
