Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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