Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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