Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
