it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
