You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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