Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
