So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
