He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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