Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
