I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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