no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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