Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize