A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
