my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
