How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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