i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
