So drunk its hurt
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
