i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
