you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
