Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
