Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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