There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
