Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
