i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
