so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
