Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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