Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
