i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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