soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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