Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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