Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
