I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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