ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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