there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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