5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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