Please, let me fuck your mom
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
