you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My feet surprised me
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
